Half Remembered (short poem)
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Half Remembered
we woke kissing
middle of a morning storm
thunderclap dawn
gentle pellets growing
into plump raindrops
sliding down our windows
shutters flapping
sun suppressed in the gloom
our room a hotbox
damp with humid humming
trickles in the drain pipes
warm hands searching
nooks and crannies
familiar flesh coaxing us
away from nature’s hostile song
sheets cool against our skin
lightening arcs
a luminary explosion
just enough to reveal
our buckling bodies
dappled in morning dew
sheltered from the violence outside
our pulsating walls
safety in our secret coven
left entwined with heaving chests
drifting back to sleep
through the harsh morning storm
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Don't you fret your booties; I will keep writing.
Nice way to start the day.Better than that first cup of coffee.The perfect storm for a morning romp :)
Yes, it's a great way to start the day Douglas. I felt the emotion, the elements and the sentiments too. Lovely mate.
A nice half-memory to warm oneself on a chill morning :)
Hmmm, nice. The natural self in counter balance to its surroundings...or soemthing like that.
Just divine and the contrast of the storm makes it all the more enticing. Great write!
reed, humour, Rubenoff, chspublish, poohgranma, here's a short reply to some fine short comments for a very short poem. Thank you all for the read -- I will return the favor and visit ya'll (I don't have a twang when I say that) soon. Peace.
Who in the world would know it was storming outside, WOO HOO. Loved the emotion.
Cheers
Ruby, thanks for the chuckle-inducing comment. Cheers back at ya.
Whooo hoo! Morning sex is the best, yes?
Lol. I have to agree with Ruby...storm - uh what storm? This is certainly a wonderful way to deal with such distractions. Beautifully written imagery that evokes memoires with a knowing smile.
The storm would add intensity and passion to the morning romp...ooh la la...It wouldn't be just sex...it would be a moment in time that would stay with their memories forever!
very sweet and gently rythmned, a dichotomy to the outside... I personally love storms, and really miss the thunderstorms around the mid-west, really, really good, a lick of frosting for the morning! lily
I cannot imagine a better morning, two of my favorite things all rolled together. "We woke kissing," I'm not sure how one does that, but I very much like the idea.
Now about your avatar Captain Cutie Pie.... I had just gotten used to the golilocks one. Are you gonna be a naked little newborn in the next one? If so I need to prepare myself.
paradise, genna, fossil, lilyfly, and randy -- ladies, ladies, the "kissing" at the beginning is a metaphor, and otherwise this poem is simply about a thunderstorm. I'm appalled that you are so willing to equate this poem with sex. Should wash your minds out with soap.
Randy, I'm usually not one for internet photo crises, but lately I've been switching quite a bit. Eventually I'll settle on a casual current pic and that will be the end of it. No baby butts, I promise.
...love this piece ...love the writing - and this is pure poetry from a pure poetic genius - dig the hat and the sunglasses in your new profile picture - and you're such a cutie in every picture you take - nothing cute about me - lol - that's why I've got the cat!
I like baby butts.
Epi, thanks for calling me a cutie. However, in this fleeting thing we call life, it won't be long before I, too, am holding a furry lovable animal. Glad you enjoyed this; sometimes the short quickies are preferred -- er, when it comes to poems I mean.
Randy, if I showed my baby butt, would anyone still read my poetry? Wouldn't any sense of ambiguity be totally dispelled?
As far as writing goes Doug- you're the man! You have an absolutely genius way of composing your Hubs! When you get famous I'll be happy to say I knew you!
This is what more of us should be waking to. God bless Doug.
Nothing better to do on a rain and gloomy day than to snuggle up to the one you love in your arms. Great write Doug, always like your style
God Bless
Ok, who kidnapped my good friend Doug and put a five year old Captain Pugwash in his place? :-)
This is really good work! It takes a lot of courage for somebody to write a good stream-of-consciousness poem and try to capture the essence of a moment, not just a romantic stereotype, nicely done.
U got a nice rhythm and flow going here and some beautiful language --- lightning... luminary, buckling bodies, dappled... dew, safety... secret. Great work, Doug :-)
Storm?? I call it pathetic fallacy for want of a better expression. If all these ladies wish to see, and imagine, parallels of their own creations, then so be it. I liked the poem and certainly felt the mise en scene (pretentious or what?) being created around you, word by word; line by line. Very evocative, Doug,
I think that perhaps Randy is imagining that you, or your avatar, are regressing as did F Scott Fitzgerald’s Benjamin in ’The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’, or more correctly, Max in Andrew Sean Greer’s ‘The Confessions of Max Tivoli’.
anything exciting like that I like
Charmgirl, Micky, Vet, Damian, Ian, and Blondey -- due to pre-wedding time constraints and the brevity of this poem, I'm keeping my replies short and sweet. Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. I will visit everyone and return to my usually long-winded replies in a few weeks. Appreciated the feedback. Peace.
Aye Chico!! Is how you say En Fuego!! Caliente! Aye Carumba!!! Very well written and now I need a cold shower!!
Love the sound of water -- fountains, waves, even a glass of vino being poured. Ha! Great job with all the senses.
My favorites are: lightening arcs
a luminary explosion
Sound like a man ready for a honeymoon. Best wishes!
Your poem is like the gray, wet mist of morning, "half remembered" dream like... and spectacular! The poem captures the contrasts of the storm outside and the softness within, the contrast and marriage of the reality within moments fading into dream... my new favorite Doug!!!
Oh wow I simply love this one. I'd love being snuggled up and hearing the sound of a thunderstorm and torrential rain. Up and awesome!
Nice poetry. I really liked the imagery.
My favorite poet in the sunshine state, I disappeared for awhile to retrieve my son from puff the magic dragon down on Main St. How are you my friend? I heard you run off and put a wedding ring on some sweet things finger?
Now why would you wanna do that? just kiddin:0) She will make you sing your beautiful words more than ever now. As to this scribe, I must say you had the sweat rolling down my neck with that morning pucker, how does one wake up with lips stuck on each other?
Although it was certainly a prelude to what came UP next. I felt like a peeping Tom looking through the cracked glass in the window pane and had to run off to take a cold shower. Well done as usual my fine poet friend, you certainly know how to raise our temperatures. Great scribe.
a wonderful enthralling read, I have been away to long :)
What a very poignant description of a storm of rising intensity, both introverted and extroverted. Great write.
Still admire your work here.
Thank you, Sligobay, for visiting, because now I have read it again, and am still in awe if its beauty.
Fantastically beautiful images Doug.
But I shall refrain from saying that I felt I was there... a little too intimate for that comment, yes?
Thank you all.
And thank you Sligo and Twilight, who visited today. This summer was brutally busy for me, and the autumn is shaping up to be only slightly less so. Regardless, I plan to return to some of my former hub-activity. I appreciate you gents taking the time on another continent to read this again. It's encouraging for me to know that you are pulling for me from across the Atlantic. Peace my friends.
downpourofwords 12 months ago
liked the way in which you have portrayed and articulated details, both big and small. Keep writing